


Do Demons Dream of Arizona Dirtbags?

by roominthecastle



Category: The Good Place (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, there was only one bunk bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-27
Updated: 2018-11-27
Packaged: 2019-09-01 08:34:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16761673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roominthecastle/pseuds/roominthecastle
Summary: Sleeping together should be fun.





	Do Demons Dream of Arizona Dirtbags?

Doug insisted they stay in his house while he was away on his snail-themed (and snail-paced) penance walk, and it was much easier to say yes than to keep trying to escape his barrage of utterly misplaced goodwill. Besides, someone had to feed his animals or the hungry pack might have threatened to overrun the small town nearby. Eleanor didn't even argue. She could use this downtime to try and process at least one of the several shocking revelations the past week had produced.

There was only one proper adult-sized bed in the entire house and Tahani was in it, all spread out and snoring lightly by the time Eleanor got there. _Typical_ , she thought, pulling the bedroom door closed with a smile she couldn't help. This likely meant bunk beds for the rest of them. Janet and Jason had already settled into one guest room, and after 15 minutes spent on waiting for Chidi to pick a bed, she decided to quietly move on to see what was behind door number three.

She felt a slight nervous twitch in her stomach and wasn't entirely sure where it came from. She wasn't sure if he was even in there. Did demons even need sleep? Or a bed? There was so much she didn't remember. The door was open and light was spilling out into the corridor. Clutching a pillow and a blanket, she drew closer and peeked in. The familiar stranger in question was inside, sans tie and jacket, standing motionlessly with his back to her. He appeared deep in thought, studying the beds as one would a piece of modern art.

"Hey." Startled, he swiveled around. There was something inherently comical yet oddly graceful in the way he moved. Stuff an eternal creature into a human body and the result would definitely be... well, _that_.

"Eleanor." He cracked a smile the second he saw her. He had a habit of doing that, she noticed. "Devious little contraptions, aren't they?" She didn't understand, so he clarified: "Bunk beds."

"Ah, right," she agreed - sort of -, trying not to dampen his puzzling enthusiasm. "Speaking of, would you mind sharing these?" She'd experienced one too many rejections lately, so when he didn't immediately respond, her flight response began to stir. "Or not. That's cool, too. Totally cool."

"No, no, no, please," he said, snapping out of whatever it was that threw him for a loop, and waved her inside.

"You sure?"

"Of course," he confirmed with gusto, likely to make up for his initial hesitation, and he clapped. That seemed to be another odd habit of his. "Sleeping together should be fun." He gave a small laugh that died in his throat the second he realized what he just said. "I mean... I didn't mean..."

"I know, buddy. Relax, it's me," she said, stepping inside. "So, are you a top or a bottom kinda guy?" she asked, teasing him a little further but it didn't produce the usual results. He seemed increasingly lost and she fixed him with a look. "My powers don't seem to work on you. It's kinda upsetting, you know," she concluded with just a touch of mock seriousness.

That resonated with him at once. "I know." He had three centuries' worth of experience with that sort of feeling. They shared a small smile but neither was too keen on revisiting that particular topic at the moment.

"Do you sleep, by the way?" she asked, redirecting the conversation.

He glanced at the beds, then back at her. "I do... something like that. Occasionally," he said a bit distracted. His mind was probably still stuck on the topic they weren't discussing. "Listen, you can have the room if you want. I can go. I... should go."

For the first time since they teamed up in this timeline, she knew exactly what he was doing and why. Shame, avoidance, self-hatred, and confusion were fixtures in every relationship she'd had. She knew where they led. He was already at the door when her voice stopped him. "Yeah, you could go, but then I would have to spend the whole night feeling guilty about depriving you of this super magical bunk bed experience." He turned back and cracked a grin. She felt better, too. "Also, I don't really feel like being... you know... alone."

He nodded. "I know."

She believed him and - not for the first time - she found herself wishing she could remember how exactly he'd earned this trust that persisted across timelines. Perhaps another round with Janet's memory gadget would help. Perhaps later. She had enough on her plate for now.

It'd been almost an hour since they said goodnight to each other but she was still lying wide awake in the bottom bunk. What drove him to instantly pick the top one she would never figure out but judging by the soft, rhythmic thuds of dangling-feet-vs-bedframe, he wasn't doing much better on the resting front either.

"Michael?"

His feet stilled at once but he said nothing.

"What are you doing?"

He hesitated, then confessed. "I can't get that song out of my head."

"What song?"

"That _boom-de-yah-da_ song."

There was a long moment of silence, then she groaned. "Great, now it's in my head, too." Another little parting gift from Doug. Of course he was singing as he was leaving like some cut-price Bilbo Baggins.

"It's catchy."

"Yes," she agreed. "Like a disease."

He let out a soft _hmm_ and they lapsed into silence again. She shifted, punched her pillow, and curled up on her side. There was no heating of any kind in the house and one blanket made for a thin line of defense. She blew into her hands and rubbed them together repeatedly but it was not a long-term solution. Apparently, he agreed. The bed above creaked dryly, then a bunched up blanket hit her straight in the face. She pulled it off her head in time to see the dark outlines of a retreating arm. "Thank you."

"Try to get some rest now."

She was trying but the more she tried the more impossible it seemed - story of her life. She shifted again. His feet still dangled over the edge of the top bed and he kept swinging them gently. He was careful not to make a sound, though. It made her smile. "When you said you slept 'occasionally', what exactly did you mean by that 'occasionally'?"

"Once or twice," came the answer from above, then a much-needed clarification: "In every thousand years or so."

She snorted.

"I can sleep, I just don't really need it."

"Well, I really need it but I can't," she said and sighed. "We make a nice pair." It ceased to be a funny remark when he didn't react to it as such. He didn't react at all. "Michael?"

"Yes?"

"I don't remember but... we were kinda close, right?" There was no answer. She could swear he was holding his breath. "It just... it feels like we were close."

"Yes," he answered at last. There was a soft edge to his tone that betrayed the casual simplicity of the reply.

The conversation once again halted for a while. A wolf began howling outside and others soon joined in, creating an impromptu serenade of carnivores that made the tiny hairs on the back of her neck stand up. It was eerie yet strangely soothing. _Like having a guardian demon in the top bunk_ , she thought.

"Do you think I should tell Chidi?"

He sighed. "I think you should do what feels right."

She sighed, too, because a magic 8-ball would have been more informative. "Well, keeping it from him doesn't feel right," she mused. "But he would still be with Simone if it weren't for, well, all of this mess, so telling him doesn't feel right, either."

"Once I told him I admired him and he just started spiraling, trying to decide whether it was the highest praise or the surest sign of eternal damnation."

She snorted. "Yeah, that sounds like him."

"I was trying to be kind and it inflicted more pain than any torture scenario I'd put him through."

Another wolf howled in the distance and she pulled her second blanket tighter. "There will be pain no matter what, huh?"

"That seems to be the deal, yes."

This ushered in another lull in their conversation. Her eyelids began to grow heavier but despite needing rest, something in her pushed back against it. "You know, you can shower me with compliments any time you want, man."

He chuckled but said nothing.

She waited.

And waited.

There was still nothing. She rubbed her eyes. "Okay, rude."

"What?"

"It was your cue to say something nice." She yawned.

"Get some sleep."

"That's your idea of 'nice'?"

"Showing concern for a human's circadian rhythm is nice."

"No, that's... weird. _'Eleanor, you look hot even in sweatpants.'_ is nice."

"What you wear makes no real difference to me."

She remained quiet for a moment, then: "You know what? That's the same thing and I'll take it."

"That's not exactly what I meant."

"You don't think I'm hot?"

"You are human," he said, sounding slightly exasperated now. "You all look ridiculous."

"Okay, but you, like, wear a human body," she mused. "Wait, so if you are into humans that would make you something like a furry among your kind, right? Does that kinda thing go down well in hell or... ?"

"Remember when I said I didn't really need sleep?"

"Yes."

"I changed my mind."

She stifled another yawn. "I think you are just trying to change the topic." He didn't say anything. "This bunk bed is a safe space, buddy, you can talk to me if you want. I won't judge."

"I am not ashamed," he said after a long stretch of silence. "I'm just not ready to talk yet."

His direct sincerity came as a surprise but also as a kind of confirmation of something she wasn't ready to confront yet, either. "That's cool. Just don't wait too long, okay? Some of us are mortal, you know." _And hell-bound._

She did not say that part out loud but they were both thinking it, she knew. A few wordless minutes later her hunch was confirmed.

"Eleanor?"

"Yes?"

"When the time comes," he said, "I'll be waiting on the other side."

Her eyes drifted close. "I know."

His promise settled on her like a third blanket and she finally let sleep overtake her.


End file.
